…Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan. Doesn’t it seem like stories involving these two always appear right around the same time? It’s like their trains travel on parallel tracks and always wreck at the same junctures. You won’t have to think very far back to recall me predicting that both of them would wreck again, sooner rather than later. Well, here we are, it’s sooner, and both of them are right where I said they’d be.
After publicly pronouncing in the wake of his latest substance-abusing binge that he finally gets it, Sheen now reportedly says he’ll be out of “rehab,” fully cured apparently, and back at work inside of the month. Right. If this guy were serious at all about quitting drugs and alcohol, he’d go away for months of intense inpatient work somewhere. Doesn’t sound like that’s even on the table here, which is why I often say that the best thing society could do for a guy like him is to throw his rear in jail for a couple of years, where he wouldn’t have any choice. He’s given us invitation after invitation to do it, but we’ve passed each and every time, just like we have with…Lohan, who’s now facing a felony grand theft charge for allegedly stealing a necklace.
I’m so sick of talking and writing about these two morons! So, here’s where I stand on their latest derailments — we need to either get serious and finally come down hard on these two, or Congress needs to pass legislation declaring that Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are immune from prosecution and can do anything they want anywhere in the country at any time. The latter is what we’ve been doing for years, so let’s quit it or be honest about it!
And no, this isn’t really a rant against special treatment for celebrities — the problem’s actually worse than that! You wouldn’t believe how many unknown criminals are getting similar series of slaps on their wrists day in and day out in municipal and state courts near you. This, sadly, has become the norm in this country, folks. We all just know about Sheen’s and Lohan’s cases because they’re famous, so I’m using them to illustrate the absurdity of the larger issue. Not only do I want to see scofflaws smacked down for flouting society’s rules time and again, but I think we egregiously insult the men and women who protect and serve us as law enforcement officers when we make them keep catching the same individuals over and over.
Next update’s about Phillip Garrido, the piece of human debris who kidnapped Jaycee Dugard when she was 11 years old and, along with his equally-worthless wife, held her prisoner for a couple of decades thereafter, fathering her two children by rape. I’ve discussed this case on shows including The O’Reilly Factor, the CBS Early Show (multiple times), Anderson Cooper 360, Campbell Brown, Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell, and others, and I’ve consistently opined that Garrido should be found competent to stand trial. Well, I’m pleased to report that it’s happened. A California judge has ruled that Garrido is competent, which not only allows the case to proceed to trial, but I think also foreshadows the accuracy of another prediction of mine, the failure of an insanity defense at trial. This guy needs to go away forever, and I don’t mean to a cushy mental hospital.
And finally, in cases like this one, I’d be thrilled to have been wrong: Remember the missing California child whom we discussed on last Friday night’s Nancy Grace? (I’ve also written about this case and particularly about the little boy’s mother twice in the past week.) The child’s body was found a couple of days later, deceased, downstream from where the mother’s ex-boyfriend apparently drove his car into a drainage canal with the little boy inside, precisely as I predicted on the show. Like I said, I’d much rather tell you that I called this one incorrectly.